I have been thinking for many years, and with the advice form counselors, that I need to write a book telling my life story. Well, I am not much of a creative writer, and I often forget that I have started a journal and the story never gets on paper. But, I thought if I started a blog, maybe I might remember to jot down my ideas and the stories of my life. This is because facebook has me hooked to this technological contraption called a computer, and since I can't seem to get off of it, I might as well put my time to some good use.
Time, now that is something I have alot of of. Um, yeah right. I am a busy wife and mom to two beautiful children. Alexis, who I will call the baby who saved me for pending doom in the Walsh house, is 9 turning 10 in June. Holy crap, I am going to have a teenage daughter in 3 years (MOUTH GAPED OPEN AND PANIC HAS SET IN)! Liam my youngest, is the baby that changed who I am, and who I want to be. He is 2 and will be 3 in July.
We all know that children change our lives, and that their existence in this world makes a powerful impact. BUT, I feel different the way I look and feel about my offspring. I became pregnant with Alexis at 15 (please, stop judging) and I am glad I did. Of course she was planned, but not THIS EARLY. I always wanted to be a mom. My Honey (who is my grandma) was a nanny and I was raised by her and was taught how to be a caretaker at a young age. When I found out about the pregnancy, I was not scarred. Something inside of me knew I could take on this new challenge in my life. I was prepared. I moved out and in with Jason, who is the father of the mentioned offspring. I stayed in school and in June of 2001, Alexis Elizabeth made her glorious arrival. At 16, I made the choice to have a unmediated birth (but while being somewhat informed about drugs during labour, I was not informed of how Dr.s like to do anything to speed up the process, so I did end up with drugs). At 16, I only knew of one way to feed a baby, by breastfeeding. I never even thought of formula feeding. Alexis saved me. Why you ask? She saved my from going down a bad road of petty teenage crap, she saved me from my parents, I finished high school because of her, I went to college because of her. My life was because of her.
Liam, my dear baby Liam. He is a a joy to have in my life! He was planned ON TIME, and what a difference a planned on time pregnancy makes. His gender was even planned. NO, NO,NO, I did not spend trillions of dollars to make sure I had a boy, I just did some old fashion tricks to help Jason's male sperm (he would kill me if he saw this)swim faster than the females, lol. Liam Jackson was born in July of 2008, and his birth changed me forever. I had a horrible experience in the hospital and his birth prompted me to do start doing research on natural birth/parenting. I have made bad decisions (getting Liam circ'd) because I chose not to properly inform myself. I hate myself for mutilating my son. But I am glad that I get to learn from what I did wrong, and hopefully change lives form the information I have gathered since he was born. He was breastfeed until he was 14 months, and I wish I never stopped. H ecahnged my view on life, and my view on parenting.
I wake up every day learning how to be a better mom. I like to say I am not just raising two children, I am also raising myself. I am growing up mommy.
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