Puberty?????

Okay, she will be 10 in like t-minus 2 weeks.  Holy Crap!  Where did the time go?  Yesterday I was putting her in cute dresses and pig tails, today she is dressed in her own fashionable clothes, with an attitude to boot!  She is becoming a tweener, Dear God!  Any one have a Dalorean in the garage?  Do I seriously have to relive puberty again?  The first damn time was enough!  Okay, I know, I have a solution!  I'll send her to an all-girls boarding school and see her again when she is 18.  WHAT?  Not a good idea?  Okay, Okay!

SO as of now, she screams in my face, tells me to tell her I don't like her, slams the door, stomps off to her room.  Oh wait, my two year old does that.  OH PRAISE GOD SHE IS REGRESSING!  I can have my sweet baby back.  What?  I doesn't work that way?  Then what the f**k do I do now?  I am terrified of her going through this. 

I was lucky to get through it the first time, now I have to relive it on the other end?  The raging hormones, the "buds", the "you know what"!  Oh please, please let the both of us just sleep right through it. Please, I have 8 more years of this, why?  Why does she have to go through this?  I don't know how I can stand by watching her "grow", watching boys come in and out of the picture (hopefully she will think boys have cooties and they never come in the picture, that being said, I hope girls don't either).  I now, I know, I'll send her to nuns school.  They do have that right?